i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
