i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Randomize
