Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
