please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
