What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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