i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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