it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
