garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
