redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
