Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
