No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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