i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
