Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
