D3 body, D1 cock
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Every concussion has its silver lining
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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