the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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