its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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