so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
