I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
