I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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