He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
