were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
