I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
