the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
