He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
