Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The struggles of a small town man whore
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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