I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
