is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
