it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
