He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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