just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
