After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
