You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Fuck appropriateness.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
