Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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