The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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