she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
