Me too!
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
