unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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