The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
