I'm sorry my penis didn't work
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
