Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
