he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I love having hate sex.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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