with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
