I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
