my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
