Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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