what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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