Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
