i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
