apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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