Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She even gives head with a lisp.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
