I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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