Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
